The best lawyer jokes

Lawyer: ‘Let me give you my honest opinion.’ Client: ‘No, no. I’m paying for professional advice.’
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Two lawyers are walking down the road when they see a beautiful woman walking towards them. ‘What a babe,’ one says. ‘I’d sure like to screw her!’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Out of what?’
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, holiday, lawyer
Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers? A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room...
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
The boss speaking with the secretary: Who told you that, if I kissed you a couple of time, you have the right to laze all day long? My lawyer.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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