The best lawyer jokes

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Lawyer: ‘Let me give you my honest opinion.’ Client: ‘No, no. I’m paying for professional advice.’
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s a foot long, transparent and lies in the gutter. A lawyer once the crap’s been kicked out of him.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Two lawyers are walking down the road when they see a beautiful woman walking towards them. ‘What a babe,’ one says. ‘I’d sure like to screw her!’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Out of what?’
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: cop, lawyer, wife
How is an earnest lawyer called? An oxymoron.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
From tomorrow you are free! The lawyer informs his client. Yes, I’m so happy, I have nothing to say, grumbled the prisoner. I torment myself for 5 years to make a rope ladder, 3 years to rasp the cage bars and you come now with the amnesty ordinance, exactly now when I wanted to break free...
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water!
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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