The best lawyer jokes

Two lawyers are walking down the road when they see a beautiful woman walking towards them. ‘What a babe,’ one says. ‘I’d sure like to screw her!’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Out of what?’
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?” St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, heaven, lawyer, work
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, holiday, lawyer
Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers? A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room...
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, money
The boss speaking with the secretary: Who told you that, if I kissed you a couple of time, you have the right to laze all day long? My lawyer.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer


<<<25262728
More jokes →
Page 25 of 34.