The best lawyer jokes

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
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Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
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Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident? The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
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How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.
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How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
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What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should? Stick his bill up his rear.
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What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
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What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One’s a scum-sucking bottom dweller, the other’s a fish!
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