What’s a foot long, transparent and lies in the gutter.
A lawyer once the crap’s been kicked out of him.
How is an earnest lawyer called?
An oxymoron.
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.
Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning?
Shoot him before he hits the water!
A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor.
‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks.
‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor.
Discussion between two future lawyers:
I don’t understand why they rejected me!
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients.
What did you tell them?
I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands!
You’re hands?
What do you mean?
Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Vote:
Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
Vote:
An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years.
A competent attorney can delay one even longer.
I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’