The best lawyer jokes

Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach? Cats keep covering them with sand.
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A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar. The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
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Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
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Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident? The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
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How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.
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What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should? Stick his bill up his rear.
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What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One’s a scum-sucking bottom dweller, the other’s a fish!
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