Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach? Cats keep covering them with sand.
A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar. The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
Q: Officer, who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Did you hear about the lawyer who was hurt in an accident? The ambulance he was chasing stopped too suddenly.
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.
What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should? Stick his bill up his rear.
What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One’s a scum-sucking bottom dweller, the other’s a fish!