The best lawyer jokes

What’s black and tan and looks great on a lawyer? A Dobermann pinscher.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A man was summoned to court for punching his lawyer. During the process, the Judge asked him to explain his actions. "Your Honor," replied the defendant, "that man represented me in a bitter divorce. One day he said my property settlement hearing was about to be held. The judge would decide that afternoon what I would get, and what Rose would get. My lawyer told me I didn't have to be present and "not to worry." "I can't see why you'd punch a man for that," interrupted the judge. "Wait, there's more... When I asked my attorney later about the settlement, he told me to look on the bright side. I asked why. Then he said, "Because everything's coming up Rose's." "THAT'S when I hit him!"
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Man to lawyer: ‘If I give you £500, will you answer two questions?’ Lawyer: ‘Absolutely. What’s the other question?’
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s a foot long, transparent and lies in the gutter. A lawyer once the crap’s been kicked out of him.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How is an earnest lawyer called? An oxymoron.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water!
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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