The best lawyer jokes

What’s a foot long, transparent and lies in the gutter. A lawyer once the crap’s been kicked out of him.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How is an earnest lawyer called? An oxymoron.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir, with my life.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water!
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor. ‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks. ‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Discussion between two future lawyers: I don’t understand why they rejected me! I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients. What did you tell them? I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands! You’re hands? What do you mean? Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, wife
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer, morbid
Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer
An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
I dated a lawyer until she said, ‘Stop, and/or I’ll slap your face!’
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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