The best jokes about men

A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, couple, men
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, women
Something Special For His Birthday It was Jim's birthday, and he was considered to be an "old man" by his friends standards. So, to liven him up a bit, Jim's friends decided to give him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker. The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked on the door. When Jim answered, she said "Hi I'm your birthday present!" Startled, he asked "What am I supposed to do with you?" "I'm yours for super sex," she answers. So Jim replied "Well, I'm 75 years old so I'll have the soup."
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
A man rushes out of his wife's hospital room. "Doctor, doctor -- my wife's been in a coma for several months, but when I just touched her left breast, she sighed!" "That's very encouraging," says the doctor. "Go back and touch her right breast. See if she reacts." A few minutes later, the man rushes out again: "Doctor, she moaned!" "Very good," says the doctor. "Now try oral sex. She should certainly react to that!" Five minutes later, the man comes out back out, white as a sheet. "Doctor -- she died." "No! What happened?" the doctor exclaims. "Well, doc," the man says tearfully, "she choked."
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, husband, men
They put one man on the moon. Why can’t they put them all there?
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
Vote: has 46.20 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, men, women
What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Stupid? He wanted to be a farmer. So he studied pharmacy.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, sport


<<<36373839
More jokes →
Page 36 of 51.