The best jokes about men

How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
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Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
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What is gross stupidity? 144 men in one room.
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Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
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How are men like diplomas? You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.
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How do you know if your man is dead? The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
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How is a man like a microwave oven? Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
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I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons, I'm a catholic and living with him is hell.
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Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
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How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
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More jokes about: men