Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man?
A. An oxymoron.
They put one man on the moon.
Why can’t they put them all there?
Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.
What's the difference between a man and an ox?
Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.