A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired." Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island. The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts. The man thinks to himself, "What if there are other people on the island? Then we won't be stranded!" He throws coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated. Everybody looks at him cross. Then they kick him off the island.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Q: What is difference between man and Superman? A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.
Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.