Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!
Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the s**t out of you.
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself.
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...