Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Ones the bus was full of people. A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation! So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man? No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.