The best jokes about men

What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
Men are like.....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.
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Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down.
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More jokes about: men, stupid
Why do men name their penises? Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
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Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, men, relationship
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?" "Very well trained, Peter." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says: "James! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
Vote: has 43.43 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: atheist, men, military, navy
A man rushes out of his wife's hospital room. "Doctor, doctor -- my wife's been in a coma for several months, but when I just touched her left breast, she sighed!" "That's very encouraging," says the doctor. "Go back and touch her right breast. See if she reacts." A few minutes later, the man rushes out again: "Doctor, she moaned!" "Very good," says the doctor. "Now try oral sex. She should certainly react to that!" Five minutes later, the man comes out back out, white as a sheet. "Doctor -- she died." "No! What happened?" the doctor exclaims. "Well, doc," the man says tearfully, "she choked."
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, men
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, men