What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Ones the bus was full of people. A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."