Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
A man walks into a bar and says "Ow!" A second man walks into the same bar. You would think after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it coming.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
Ones the bus was full of people. A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
Something Special For His Birthday It was Jim's birthday, and he was considered to be an "old man" by his friends standards. So, to liven him up a bit, Jim's friends decided to give him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker. The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked on the door. When Jim answered, she said "Hi I'm your birthday present!" Startled, he asked "What am I supposed to do with you?" "I'm yours for super sex," she answers. So Jim replied "Well, I'm 75 years old so I'll have the soup."
Stupid? He wanted to be a farmer. So he studied pharmacy.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.
If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.