Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Ones the bus was full of people. A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
Stupid? He wanted to be a farmer. So he studied pharmacy.
A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation! So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man? No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...
What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.
If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts." The doctor asks, "What do you mean?" The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts." The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"