The best jokes about men

Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
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What is gross stupidity? 144 men in one room.
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Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
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How are men like diplomas? You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.
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How do you know if your man is dead? The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
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I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons, I'm a catholic and living with him is hell.
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Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
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Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
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This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle." "OK," says the clerk. "What do you call it?" "A fottle, replies the inventor." "A fottle? That's a stupid! Can't you think of something else?" "I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton." "And what do you call that?" asks the clerk. "A farton", replies the inventor. "That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!" "In that case," says the inventor... "You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
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More jokes about: men