I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.
What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
How is a man like a microwave oven?
Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man?
A. An oxymoron.
"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?"
"A Budweiser in each hand!"
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"
Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill?
A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.