The best jokes about men

A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
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Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
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What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
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Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Stupid? He wanted to be a farmer. So he studied pharmacy.
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If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
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A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, "Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big." He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, "Wooww Texas mugs are really big." Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said, "Strait on your right." But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said, "Don't flush don't flush!"
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Two hunters shot a deer, and were dragging him to the car by the hind leg, which was difficult because the other legs kept snagging in the brush. "Chet, I've got an idea, I think we are doing this wrong. Let's try dragging him by the horns, like we were advised by the ammo-store salesman." "OK," says Ivan. After a while, Ivan says, "I think this is a lot better because his legs fold up and don't get caught in the brush, but we seem to be getting farther from the car."
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Why did the blonde have a sore belly button? Because there are blonde men too!
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More jokes about: blonde, men, women