Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
One guy says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar. Man says "you can leave that lion here." The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
There is the chief of Indians, and he is going down a field with his tribe, and they come across a pile of sh*t.So the chief asks his tribe men : "Does this look like sh*t to you?" "Yes is does", they replied. "Smell it. Does it smell like sh*t to you", asks the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Feel it. Does it feel like sh*t to you?", says the Chief. "Mmmmm..Yes" "Lick it. Does it taste like sh*t to you?", inquires the Chief. "Ammmm...Yes" "Good. Don't step on it!"
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself.
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.