Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired." Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts." The doctor asks, "What do you mean?" The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts." The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it
Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.
Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors. The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol. The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half. They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story. Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.