The best jokes about men

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
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Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
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Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the s**t out of you.
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Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
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Men are like guns. Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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How are men like diplomas? You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.
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I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons, I'm a catholic and living with him is hell.
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Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
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How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
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How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? Who knows? - It hasn't happened yet!!
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