Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.
Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.
How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.