Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward? It ends up in his mouth.
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds? A. Bonds mature.
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
How does a man show he's planning for the Future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?
Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!