The best jokes about men

How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
Vote:
has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
Vote:
has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
Vote:
has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
Vote:
has 31.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, time, women
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
Vote:
has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men
A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Vote:
has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? So they can find their way back to the house.
Vote:
has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
Vote:
has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, men
Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how... An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Forgot to pay his brain bill. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Surfing in Nebraska. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a casserole. The cheese slid off his cracker. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Vote:
has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.
Vote:
has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
<<<47484950
More jokes →
Page 47 of 53.