Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward?
It ends up in his mouth.
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in
the worst way.
She: Well, you succeeded.
Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A. Bonds mature.
Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Dogs are man's best friend.
So which is the dumber sex?
Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common?
A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!