Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box.
She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson?
They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man?
A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.