How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward?
It ends up in his mouth.
Men come in three sizes:
Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears?
Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.