Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any.
A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
Why does a man prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.