Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any.
Men come in three sizes: Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.