I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite. 
Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
Vote:
Q:What’s the difference between Ross Perot and Barack Obama?
A:Ross Perot is crackpot with big ears and Barack Obama is a pothead with big ears.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin.
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.
Q: Why are men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.