The best jokes about men

A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open. As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground. As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?" The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, death, men
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Vote: has 77.64 % from 144 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
2 boys searching for their lost girlfriends: 1st: How your girlfriend look like? 2nd: 5'6, hot, sexy, blue eyes... what about yours? 1st: Forget about mine.. lets search for yours.
Vote: has 77.53 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? A scrotum pole!
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven. "I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven. But if you think one dirty thought or act out one dirty act your wings will fall off." So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when they get there the first guy sees a naked woman walk by so his wings falll off. When he bends over to pick them up the second guy's wings fall off.
Vote: has 77.50 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man standing at a urinal notices that he's being watched by a midget. "Wow," comments the midget. "Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!" Surprised and flattered, the man thanks the midget and continues to pee. Suddenly, the midget pulls up a step ladder right next to the urinal and says, "Listen, I know this is a rather strange request, but as they're so admirable, I wonder if I could take a closer look." Again the man is rather startled, but sees no real harm in it. Just then, the midget reaches out, gets a tight grip on the man's balls, and says, "OK, hand me your wallet, or I'll jump off the ladder!"
Vote: has 77.47 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
Vote: has 77.32 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, men, time
How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
Vote: has 76.99 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?" The man replies, "No my dog doesn't." The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man. "Thats not my dog", replied the other.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men, time