The best jokes about men

What's the difference between a bachelor & a married man? Bachelor comes home, see's what's in the fridge & goes to bed. Married man comes home, see's what's in the bed & goes to the fridge.
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has 79.72 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: men
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend". "Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"? After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
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has 79.60 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, men, relationship, sex
Three men go on a skiing trip, but when they get to the HOTEL they find out that the hotel have mucked up their rooms and they have to share one big bed. When they wake up the guy on the left says I had a well strange dream last night that I was getting a hand job, and then the guy on the right goes thats strange O had the same dream I was getting a hand job. Then the guy in the middle goes well thats strange because I had a dream I was skiing!
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has 79.50 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: masturbation, men, sport
Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
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has 79.48 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, men
There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and says, "Well... what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" "Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her hands and knees," he bragged and took another sip of beer. His friends were amazed! "What happened then?" they asked, almost in unison." "Well, then she said, "Get the hell out from under that bed and fight like a man!" he admitted.
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has 79.48 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: men
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this? " "You're speaking to it."
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has 79.46 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, men, wine
Three couples are having a picnic. One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey." The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar." Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."
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has 78.92 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: couple, food, mean, men, vulgar
A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane. During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace. When the woman asked him: "Are you interested in my necklace?" "No lady; I would rather its runway!" answered the guy.
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has 78.89 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, men, travel, women
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.
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has 78.89 % from 270 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, men, women
There once was a fellow from Kent Who had such a long instrument. To stay out of trouble He folded it double. And instead of coming he went.
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has 78.80 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
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