The best jokes about men

"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, men
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Vote: has 78.70 % from 350 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, men, sex, women
2 boys searching for their lost girlfriends: 1st: How your girlfriend look like? 2nd: 5'6, hot, sexy, blue eyes... what about yours? 1st: Forget about mine.. lets search for yours.
Vote: has 78.55 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing isn’t as good as it used to be. What should I do?” The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn’t respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.” The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, honey? He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet. Still, no answer. Finally he stands directly behind her and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” She replies, “For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!”
Vote: has 78.06 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, food, men, wife
How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
Vote: has 78.03 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?" "Because I'm Christine."
Vote: has 78.03 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.” Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid. ”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”. ”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”
Vote: has 77.74 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, men
Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve? A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Vote: has 77.64 % from 144 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A real man would never cry in public unless: He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master. Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt. Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, celebrity, dog, men