One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands and knees.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm looking for my dollar bill,' Max replied.
'I lost it down the road.'
'Why don't you look for it there?'
'Because the light's better here!'
What’s the difference between your wage packet and your trouser packet?
You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your wage packet.
He was so poor all he had to wear as a boy were hand-me-downs.
The real shame was that he had five older sisters.
Uncle Harry is very rich.
His dog was lonely so he bought it a boy to play with.
‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’
Douglas Adams
Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy?
If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
Why is money called dough?
Because we all knead it.
If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?
Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.
I got this antique watch from my grandfather on his deathbed – he put up one hell of a fight for it.
Jesus saves.
But wouldn’t it have been better if he had invested?
An actuary priced an automobile ‘fire and theft’ policy with an extremely low premium.
When asked why it was so cheap, he said, ‘Who’d steal a burnt car?’