The best money jokes

Well goodnight everyone. I have to get up early tomorrow to do nothing and still make more money than all of you!
Vote:
has 23.32 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: money, political, republican
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper. "No, I'll buy the chocolate. YOU give the money to charity!"
Vote:
has 23.03 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, money
Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
Vote:
has 22.36 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: dad, money
I got this antique watch from my grandfather on his deathbed – he put up one hell of a fight for it.
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: money
Jesus saves. But wouldn’t it have been better if he had invested?
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: money
Harry applies for a job at a finance company, the manager tells him the job is his if he can crack their toughest account. Harry goes off and comes back two hours later having recovered the entire amount. ‘Amazing!’ says the manager. ‘How did you do it?’ ‘Easy,’ replies Harry. ‘I said that if he didn’t pay us, I’d tell all his other creditors he had.’
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: money
A woman goes to her bank with a cheque from her husband. The cashier tells her it has to be endorsed, so she writes on the back, ‘My husband is a wonderful man.’
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: money
An actuary priced an automobile ‘fire and theft’ policy with an extremely low premium. When asked why it was so cheap, he said, ‘Who’d steal a burnt car?’
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: money
My uncle is very mean. I went round the other day and found him stripping the wallpaper. He wasn’t redecorating, he was moving.
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: money
Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
Vote:
has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: money
<<<81828384
More jokes →
Page 81 of 85.