The way from the cabins to the ring is too long, says the boxer. No worries, on your way back you will come back with the stretcher...
A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report. "Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife!" "OK, that's it, guys," Roger said. "This is positively the last deal."
Michael was watching the derby game between Manchester United and Liverpool; Old Trafford was packed and there was only one empty seat – next to Michael. ‘Who does that seat belong to?’ asked the person in the next seat. ‘My wife usually sits there.’ Michael replied. ‘But why isn’t she here?’ the neighbor persisted ‘She died.’ Said Michael in a matter-of-fact tone. ‘So why didn’t you give the ticket to one of your friends?’ ‘They’ve all gone to the funeral.’ said Michael.
"I like to watch the World Series. Here's what I do. I sit down and drink a few beers in my underwear and scream at the TV. That's until they throw me out of Applebees." Dave Letterman
When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants. High five!
The hardest thing about prizefighting is picking up your teeth wearing a boxing glove.
They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer. It was to keep his teeth in.
I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream? Aston Vanilla.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of trousers? In case they get a hole in one!