Football match Romania – Russia.
Romania wins and receives a telegram from Russia:
“You’ve won!
Stop.
Congratulations!
Stop.
Oil!
Stop.
Gas!
Stop...
Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet?
It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
Vote:
Mrs. Williams: Ok kids let's play soccer
SMACK!
Anna:OW!
Mrs. Williams: What happened Anna?
Anna: Andy punched me!
Mrs. Williams : Why did you punch Anna,Andy?
Andy: You said let's play sock her, so I did.
A regular Friday night poker game was still going strong well after midnight when one of the players returned from bathroom with an urgent report.
"Roger, listen," he told the host, "Walter's in the kitchen making love to your wife!"
"OK, that's it, guys," Roger said.
"This is positively the last deal."
When I see you, there's a Ruthian blast in my pants.
High five!
They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer.
It was to keep his teeth in.
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate?
The ice.
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
"I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw.
"You always lose control at the same point in every game."
"When is that?"
"Right after the National Anthem."
There was this kid who wanted to divorce his parents, so he takes them to court.
The judge says, "do you want to live with your dad?" the kid says "no!
he beats me!".
The judge says,"you want to live with your mom?" "no! she beats me too!".
So the judge says, "who do you want to live with then?"
The kid says, "The Cleveland Browns...they can't beat anybody!"
Q: What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common?
A: No Cubs