The best sport jokes

What is the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? "When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: fish, golf, sport
A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep. I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any. Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s. I tried. But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, sport
Michael was watching the derby game between Manchester United and Liverpool; Old Trafford was packed and there was only one empty seat – next to Michael. ‘Who does that seat belong to?’ asked the person in the next seat. ‘My wife usually sits there.’ Michael replied. ‘But why isn’t she here?’ the neighbor persisted ‘She died.’ Said Michael in a matter-of-fact tone. ‘So why didn’t you give the ticket to one of your friends?’ ‘They’ve all gone to the funeral.’ said Michael.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: sport
Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!" Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir!"
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q: How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? A: Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears. Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: sport
Golf was once a rich man’s sport, but now it has millions of poor players.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: sport
A famous boxer must be operated by appendicitis. From the operation room the doctor gets out holding himself to the walls with a bruised eye and says: A can’t do this anymore! I try to anesthetize him, I count until 9 and he gets up and starts punching me...
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sport
A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat: "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed. "Strike One!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he missed again. "Strike Two!" he cried. The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. "Strike Three!" "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: sport
It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people play hockey even after they're married The puck's always hard The protective equipment is reusable It lasts at least an hour A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon You always know how big the stick is You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding You can change players on the fly You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds Your parents cheer when you score Periods last only 20 minutes You're sure to get it at least twice a week You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, sport, time
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