Chuck Norris lives in a all white house with all white furniture and all white carpet. Why? Dirt knows better.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home. He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?" His father replied, "Figure it out." Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?" The teacher said: "Figure it out." Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her.
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Q: What dinosaur would Harry Potter be? A: The Dinosorcerer