Yo mama is so poor that she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
Why did the black guy cross the road? Who the fuck cares, why is he out of the cotton field?
Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
Q: Where do you find elves? A: Depends where you left them!
It's not the fall that kills you, it's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom.
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.