"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?"
"A Budweiser in each hand!"
Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard...
They were never seen again.
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Yo momma is so fat, that when NASA put her on the moon, her breasts were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.
I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her.
"That's total bollocks" I replied.
By text, from across the road.
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Q: What kind of doctor does a duck visit?
A: A Ducktor.
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables."
The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer."
The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
A: To get to the bottom...
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport?
A: Baaasket baaall!
Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
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