This Refrigeration Truck Driver goes into the bar and he asks the bartender "I'd like to have a shot of Gin."
The bartender decides to have some fun with him.
So the bartender says "All right, what kind of gin would you like?"
The trucker said "You mean there's more than one kind of gin?"
Bartender says "Sure. You've got Hydrogen, Oxyogen, and Nitrogen."
The trucker said "Oh!!!! Well, did you know there are three kinds of turds?"
Bartender says "What do you mean three kinds of turds?"
Trucker says "Well, you've got Mustard, Custard, and you, you big shit. Now give me my gin."
Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.
Two blonde football fans are walking along the road when one of them picks up a mirror.
He looks in it and says, 'Hey, I know that person!'
The second one picks it up and says, 'Of course you do, you idiot, it's me'.
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner?
A: Toast their clients.
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Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus?
GarageBend.
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Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses?
His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
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If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
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