What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?
Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
What do u call a bunch of black buried up to their heads in dirt?
Afro turf.
What does an octopus take on a camping trip?
Tentacles.
There are 2 women getting ready to leave for work.
The brunette gets in the driver's seat and the blonde gets in the passenger's seat.
The brunette says: "We're late, so you watch out the back window for cops." As she speeds down the road she asks the blonde:
"So, do you see any cops?"
The blonde replies: "Yes!"
The brunette says: "Are they behind us?"
"Yes!"
"Are they close?"
"Yes!"
"Are they going to stop us?"
"I don't know!"
"Well, are their lights on?"
The blonde replies: "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...!
A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.
While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.
“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?”
“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
Your mama's teeth are so messed up....i thought her tongue was in jail!
Chuck Norris once drank wine from a chalice.
This chalice is now known as the holy grail.