A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.
This Refrigeration Truck Driver goes into the bar and he asks the bartender "I'd like to have a shot of Gin." The bartender decides to have some fun with him. So the bartender says "All right, what kind of gin would you like?" The trucker said "You mean there's more than one kind of gin?" Bartender says "Sure. You've got Hydrogen, Oxyogen, and Nitrogen." The trucker said "Oh!!!! Well, did you know there are three kinds of turds?" Bartender says "What do you mean three kinds of turds?" Trucker says "Well, you've got Mustard, Custard, and you, you big shit. Now give me my gin."
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.