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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Vote: has 30.80 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now."
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More jokes about: life, science
I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
Vote: has 30.77 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
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More jokes about: black humor
My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
Vote: has 30.74 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
The other day a friend and myself decided to try out an aerobics video because we were both feeling very unfit. We put the tape in and started to copy the movements. After a few minutes we had chopped each other's arms off with chain-saws. It was only then that we realized that I had accidentally put "Psycho Killers III" in the video by mistake! How we laughed!!!!
Vote: has 30.74 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
I saw the priest watching pornography. Should I get jelous? -Johnny, 11 years old.
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More jokes about: age, little Johnny, priest
I think I just evolved into Homo Erectus.
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More jokes about: dirty
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Vote: has 30.56 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
Vote: has 30.49 % from 165 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school