Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.
Why did the referee have such a high phone bill? Because he made to many calls!
Whats six inches long, has a head on it and drives women wild ? A fifty pound note !
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she's as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs? A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."