A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated." What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
How does the LAPD play poker? Four clubs beat a king.
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
How is a man like a microwave oven? Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
A stewardess approaches a passenger on a flight. ‘Would you care for an orange juice, sir?’ The passenger replies, ‘Sure, if it needed me.’
The Australian rugby team is being driven through Dublin. The driver shouts out, ‘And if you look to your left you’ll see we’re going past the biggest pub in the city.’ A voice from the back shouts, ‘Why?’
Q: What does XXX stand for in a porno film? A: It's the signature of the three blondes who "act" in it
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.