A man in a balaclava with a gun asked, "Are you a Protestant or a Catholic?"
"Neither, I'm a Jew."
"But are you a Protestant Jew or a Catholic Jew?"
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother.
‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son.
The mother replies, ‘I don’t know.
Surprise me.’
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick.
He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed:
Have you been doing anything unusual?
And he said: No.
So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks.
So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked:
Have you been doing anything at all unusual?
And the guy said:
Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself out of her motercycle.
There's something actionable in your pants.
A murder has been committed.
Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground.
The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"
"Yes."
"Did you hit her with that golf club?"
"Yes. Yes, I did," the man answers. He stifles a sob, drops the club and puts his hands on his head.
"How many times did you hit her?"
"I don't know. Five...six ...put me down for a five."
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll.
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue
Vote:
Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
Vote: