Best jokes ever

How does the LAPD play poker? Four clubs beat a king.
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is. "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, what did you say?" "mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm." "I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you." The successful man spits something into his hand. "You've got to keep your worms warm."
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: sport
A stewardess approaches a passenger on a flight. ‘Would you care for an orange juice, sir?’ The passenger replies, ‘Sure, if it needed me.’
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Being poor has its advantages. For example your keys are never in your other trousers.
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
The Australian rugby team is being driven through Dublin. The driver shouts out, ‘And if you look to your left you’ll see we’re going past the biggest pub in the city.’ A voice from the back shouts, ‘Why?’
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q: What does XXX stand for in a porno film? A: It's the signature of the three blondes who "act" in it
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
Three blonde men are on one side of a wide river and don't know how to get across. The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across. The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across. Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
<<<1196119711981199
More jokes →
Page 1196 of 1425.