Our baby looks just like me. But that’s OK, as long as he’s healthy.
What’s the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? There have been sightings of Bigfoot.
Q: What does XXX stand for in a porno film? A: It's the signature of the three blondes who "act" in it
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Three blonde men are on one side of a wide river and don't know how to get across. The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across. The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across. Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.
Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza? Pizzeria!
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!
What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day’s work. After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message: "Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window. Prefer Wraps and females who think realistically pick Wholemeal.”