What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
One spelling mistake can destroy your life! A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word: "I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.
Why do blondes clean their hair in the sink? Because that’s where your supposed to wash vegetables.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin.
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
What did one computer say to the other? 010101101010101010101
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you — please keep your photo and return the others.”