Best jokes ever

What do you get when you eat a prune pizza? Pizzeria!
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia? A cancelled Czech!
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A young accountant spends a week at his new office with the retiring accountant he is replacing. Each and every morning as the more experienced accountant begins the day, he opens his desk drawer, takes out a worn envelope, removes a yellowing sheet of paper, reads it, nods his head, looks around the room with renewed vigor, returns the envelope to the drawer, and then begins his day’s work. After he retires, the new accountant can hardly wait to read for himself the message contained in the envelope in the drawer, particularly since he feels so inadequate in replacing the far wiser and more highly esteemed accountant. Surely, he thinks to himself, it must contain the great secret to his success, a wondrous treasure of inspiration and motivation. His fingers tremble anxiously as he removes the mysterious envelope from the drawer and reads the following message: "Debits in the column toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window. Prefer Wraps and females who think realistically pick Wholemeal.”
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: life
Yo momma's so fat; she's in two time zones at the same time!
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: insulting, time, Yo mama
A blonde asks a bypasser: Excuse me, would you tell me where the other side of the road is? It's on the other side. Strange.. When I was on the other side, people told me it's here...
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde comes to a doctor and complains: Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts... I know what has happened to you. And what? You've broken your finger.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water!
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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