Best jokes ever

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks "He can drink?" "Oh, sure. He can drink." So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up. "That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?" The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man. The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?" The man says "Sure he talks. Hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male? All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" "Ach," says the Irish man, "it's drivin' me nuts!"
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose? "Darling."
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box? High five!
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? "Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A leprechaun walks into a bar. After several pitchers of beer, the leprechaun runs over to a large, mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all his legs. The guy reaches out to grab the leprechaun, only to miss him as he jumps back to his seat. "If you know what's good for you, don't come near me again, or I'll rip off your little tallywagger," yells the mean-looking guy. After a few more pitchers, the leprechaun runs over to the mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all over his legs again. This time, the guy successfully catches the leprechaun. "All right, I've got you this time. I warned you -- now I'm gonna rip off your little tallywagger!" The leprechaun laughs, "You can't do that." "Why not?" asks his captor. "Because," giggles the leprechaun, "leprechauns don't have tallywaggers." "Whadda ya mean you don't have a tallywagger?" growls the angry man, "How in the hell do you pee?" "Just like this," laughs the leprechaun as he sticks out his tongue and spits.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol
What did the blonde say when someone blew in her bra? ‘Thanks for the refill.’
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
What did the blonde’s holiday postcard say? ‘Having a wonderful time. Where am I?’
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde