On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Vote:
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote:
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment?
Potpourri.
Q:Why did the woman cross the road?
A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?
Pizzeria!
Vote:
A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him:
- Do you smoke?
- No.
- Do you drink?
- No.
- Do you eat fast food?
- No.
- Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
The boss speaking with the secretary:
Who told you that, if I kissed you a couple of time, you have the right to laze all day long?
My lawyer.
"Waiter, these noodles are a bit crunchy."
Waiter: "That's because they're the chopsticks, sir."