3 girls step on a magic rug that makes u disappear if u tell a lie.
Brunette: I think I'm the prettiest girl in school. *poof*
Red-head: I think I'm the most popular girl in school. *poof*
Blonde: I think-. *poof*
Animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute
chicken goes cockadoodle do
prostute goes any cock will do.
Vote:
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money.
I shall be everlastingly in your debt.
Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
"There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot."
How do you guess a blond played at you’re computer?
The joystick is on the chair.
"Agent spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk.
Seeing that she didn’t back off he asked her name.
"Carmen," she replied.
That’s a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,
"Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself, she answered.
"Oh, that’s interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes.
"So what’s your name?" she asked.
"Beersex."
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"
The bartender considers it, then agrees.
The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat.
He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano.
The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?"
The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first.
The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat.
He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano.
The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.
While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog.
"Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale."
The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front.
"No," he insists, "he's not for sale."
The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash.
The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.
"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded.
"That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!"
"Don't worry about it." the man answered.
"The frog was really nothing special.
You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain.
The bartender asks
the man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chain
around?
The man answered " HEY!! you ever tried pushing one of these
things!!"