I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets? A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk
Q: If a white baby grows wings and goes to heaven what do you call it? A: A Angel. Q: If a black baby grows wings and goes to heaven what do you call it? A: A Bat.
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.
A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training. As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away. Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use. Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse. Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again. Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.