What did the trampolinist say? ‘Life has its ups and downs, but I always bounce back.’ Tennis
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
He was so poor all he had to wear as a boy were hand-me-downs. The real shame was that he had five older sisters.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla? An animal that puts you out at night.
Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy? If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
Q: Why are black people, pirates? A: Because they go nigarrr.
Q: What do you call a hairy black? A: A monkey.
Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx.
A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer. When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door. It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.