Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
Yo mama so bald, when she puts on a turtle neck she looks like a roll on deodorant.
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
Q: What happens when four mexican guys are standing in quick sand? A: Quatro Sinko.
Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen? The first one would say its causing global warming. The second one would say its racist. The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island. The redhead swims half way and drowns. The brunette swims half way and drowns too. The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
"Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!"
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
Why are black people so tall? Because their knee-grows.