What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
Yo mama so bald, when she puts on a turtle neck she looks like a roll on deodorant.
Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. He asks her what it is. She says, "it's a donut." Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents." Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents. He goes to the kitchen with a big smile on his face, and his mom asks him why he's smiling. He says, "My sister gave me fifty cents for a donut, but I already licked out all the custard!
Yo mamas so fat when she farted she caused global warming!
Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.