Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out.
Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences.
Then hang up.
What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down?
Hoe-Down.
Yo' Mama is so poor, her bathroom consists of a tin can and a pile of leaves.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, her wig has a chinstrap.
Q: What is height of Honesty?
A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
Q: What is height of De-hydration?
A: A cow giving milk powder.
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk.
But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out.
What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Dragon milk.
What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.