What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers.
Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room.
"Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis.
"I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce.
"I'll play him."
"And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg.
"Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly.
"And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"I'll be Bach," said Arnie.
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?
Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?
The Lizard of Oz.
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Two in the front and two in the back.
And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first.
What is the best advice to give a worm?
Sleep late.