Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way.
God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye."
To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?
Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?
The Lizard of Oz.
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Two in the front and two in the back.
And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first.
What is the best advice to give a worm?
Sleep late.
As horses say to one another.
Any friend of yours is a palomino!
Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way.
We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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