Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
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Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
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Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?
A. Fucks Funny!
Yo mamas so fat when she farted she caused global warming!
A guy walks into a bar, orders six jägermeister shots.
The bartender asks him if it's a special occation?
The guy answers "yes indeed, my very first blowjob".
The bartender gets excited and says "Congratulations, I'll give you the seventh shot on the house".
The guy answers "Nah, if six jäger shots isn't enough to get rid of the taste, the seventh wont make much of a difference".
"Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!"
Me: Can I call an officer a pussy?
Cop: No.
Me: Can I call a pussy 'officer?'
Cop: I guess you could...
Me: Goodnight, officer
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower.
How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
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Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour?
A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
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