Best jokes ever

Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
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has 53.78 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
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has 53.78 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food, gay
My husband said he wanted more space. So I locked him outside.
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has 53.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
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has 53.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty
There were three women who always hung their laundry out in the backyard. Two of the women noticed Sophie never had her laundry out on days that it rained. One day, they were all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women said to Sophie, "How come when it rains, your laundry is never out?" "Well," said Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Paul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash." "What if it is pointed straight up?" asked one of the women. "On a day like that, I don't bother with the laundry."
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has 53.71 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: marriage, weather
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
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has 53.70 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: sex
Peter sat at his dying wife's bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "Pete, darling," she breathed, "I've a confession to make before I go. ... I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Alex. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the city. And I am the one who reported your income-tax evasion to the government. . . ." "That's all right, sweetie, don't give it a second thought," answered Peter, "I'm the one who poisoned you."
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has 53.70 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, money, wife
Man: You've brought religion into my life. Woman: Really? How? Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.
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has 53.70 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, religious
Yo' Mama is so fat, NASA used her to plug a black hole.
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black people, fat, racist, science, Yo mama
A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order. "I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband. "But sir, what about the mad cow?" asks the waiter. "Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, wife
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