Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.
The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."
The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
As an ion chromatography chemist I made this one up:
Anions aren't negative, they're just misunderstood.
Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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What is the difference between a black monopoly board and a white one.
The black on you roll any number and you go to jail.
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Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
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Q: What did the little black boy say as he was sliding down a zebra?
A: Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't...
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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Chuck Norris doesnt' walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Chuck Norris.
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A Muslim safely departs from a plane.