Best jokes ever

Q: Does your mum like shopping on the Internet? A: No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.
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More jokes about: computer, internet, stupid, technology, Yo mama
We ask the president to make laws. The president asks Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political
*Me when I turn 18* Parents: Do this. Me: Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.
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More jokes about: kids
Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? A: Pick it up and suck it's dick.
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More jokes about: disgusting
I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
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More jokes about: Facebook, fitness, gym
Yo Momma SO STUPID WHEN THEY SAID THAT IT IS CHILLY OUTSIDE, SHE WENT OUTSIDE WITH A BOWL AND A SPOON.
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More jokes about: stupid, weather, Yo mama
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
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More jokes about: god, men, women
Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a cell phone?" Blonde: "They're too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car." Psychiatrist: "And do you receive any letters?" Blonde: "No, but I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
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Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
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More jokes about: Christmas, elf, Santa
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
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More jokes about: funeral, lawyer, women