Your mother is so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck!
Yo mama so fat her boobs squirts out milk.
Your nails are so long when you come around the corner the police arrested you for dangerous weapons.
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
Vote:
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive?
A brown Probe!
Vote:
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Vote:
A girl visited her boyfriend, which was still living with his mother, at his house.
His mother had Puritan principals.
The mother, as long as the girl was there, didn’t even try to hide her dislike feelings for his son’s choice.
"Mom, can I escort Helen?"
The girl, waiting to hear a cold hearted "no", she surprised hears: "Sure... You can! Escort her... to the corner with your eyes!"
Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
Vote:
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies?
A: A rotisserie chicken.
Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
A: It's called Sosumi.