Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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Why don't whales eat sushi very often?
Of course whales like sushi.
It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
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Champions eat Wheaties for breakfast.
Chuck Norris eats Champions for breakfast.
Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!
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Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
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Seth: "Why is basketball the messiest Olympic sport?"
Will: "I don't know."
Seth: "Because the players dribble all over the court!"
Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job?
A: Bob.
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If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win.
Period.
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