Best jokes ever

When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
One night a man was getting very drunk in a pub. He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his prick out as he went in the door. However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman sitting on the can, "This is for ladies!" she screamed. The drunk waved his dick at her and said "So is this!"
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, drunk
Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? A: A Selfie!
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, technology, terrorist
What's the good part of there being no blacks on the Jetsons? It means the future will be great!
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mean, money, sport, women
Why can't girls play hockey? Because their pads can't last three periods.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, sport
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, business, lawyer
Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors. The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol. The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half. They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story. Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, life, men
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, bible, Yo mama