A man goes skydiving.
After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute but nothing happens.
He tries everything but can't get it open.
Just then another man flies by him, going UP.
The skydiver yells, "Hey, you know anything about parachutes?
The man replies, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?
Yo mamma's so fat when she falls off a hill people call avalach.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Putting in twelve and sucking out thirteen.
Vote:
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
When customs finds something in your butt, how do you act surprised?
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Teller: "Why did the blonde move to L.A.?"
Blonde: "I don't know. Why?"
Teller: "It was easier to spell."
Blonde: "Easier than what?"
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
What do cows do when they re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.