Marriage is not a lottery – you get a chance in a lottery.
There was a fire at the local tax office but the fire brigade managed to put it out before any serious good was done.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Yo momma so poor...
She hangs the Toilet paper out to dry.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I took her to the zoo, the security guard thanked me for bringing her back.
Blonde cop pulls over blonde motorist.
Cop asks the motorist to see her license so the blonde searches in her purse & tells the blonde cop that she must have forgot it at home.
The blonde cop asks the blonde motorist does she have any other type of identification so she searches in her purse again, looks at a pocket mirror & says, "I have a picture of myself."
The cop asks to see it so the blonde motorist hands over the pocket mirror.
The blonde cop looks at it & says, "Well if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over."
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Vote:
Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
Vote:
Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.