Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air. Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.
Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
What do dinosaurs put on their floors? Rep-tiles.
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
God created Adam, Adam saw Chuck Norris, Adam created tears.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
Q: why did the cow cross the road? A: So he could pass the milkyway.
Yo mamas so ugly when Bob the builder saw her he said "Oh cannot fix that."