Chuck Norris kissed a girl once. She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Yo mama so fat when she went to bruger king the bruger was running as fast as they can.
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Q:Why don't hockey players drink tea? A:Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.
What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat? A harebrush.
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
"Hi! My name is Gertrude," said the lady next to him on the plane. "It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday. I’m so excited! I remember when he was just a little thumbkin and now he’s already three! It’s really hard to believe. He’s the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen! You know what? Hold on, I think I might have a picture on me. Let me take a look in my purse, yes, here it is, just look at him, isn’t he adorable. Do you see his dimple on his left cheek? Simply adorable! I could stare at his picture all day. Oh my, and you should hear him on the phone! He is just the cutest, he says to me in the cutest voice 'Hi Grandma!' It just gets me all teary eyed." After what seemed like two hours for the poor man sitting next to her, Gertrude seemed to realize that perhaps she was talking a bit too much. "You know, I feel terrible! Here I am just talking and talking without letting you get in a word edgewise! Tell me.. what do you think about my Grandson!"