Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
How does herpes leave the hospital? On crotches.
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did. I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said; "See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them." I replied, "Yes." "Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."
Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks.
Why did the horses kept saying orange juice? Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!