Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.
A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week.
Finally someone notices and calls the police.
They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body.
The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion.
The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair.
Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Vote:
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
Vote:
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.
Except Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the 10 key.
Two neighbors had been fighting each other for nigh on four decades.
Bob buys a Great Dane and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
For one whole year Bill ignores the dog.
So Bob then buys a cow and teaches it to use the bathroom in Bill's yard.
After about a year and a half of Bob's cow crapping in Bill's yard; being ignored all the while, a semi pulls up in front of Bill's house.
Bob runs over and demands to know what's in the 18-wheeler.
'My new pet elephant,' Bill replies solemly.
Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner."
Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree.
He's been hanging there for quite a while.
Vote:
Q:Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven?
A:Because seven ate nine.