Q: What’s the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee–If No Recovery!
What is height of Fashion? Dhoti with a zip.
A young woman walks into a bank to withdraw some money. ‘Can you identify yourself?’ asked the bank clerk. The young woman opens her handbag, takes out a mirror, looks into it and says, ‘Yes, it’s me all right.’
One night, a lady with a black eye stumbled into the police station. She told the desk sergeant that she had heard a noise in her back yard and gone to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the face and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a few minutes later, also with a black eye. ‘Did you get hit by the same attacker?’ his captain asked. ‘No, sir,’ he replied. ‘I stepped on the same rake.’
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
How does herpes leave the hospital? On crotches.
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.
Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth? A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
While vacationing in a remote area of Alaska, I met an old mountain man, wise in the ways one need be to live in an extreme wilderness area like he did. I asked him about the weater, did it rain a lot? He said; "See those mountains over there" and he pointed to them." I replied, "Yes." "Well," he replied, ".. if you can't see those mountains, that means it's raining. If you can see them, that means it's going to rain."