Best jokes ever

A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey. It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away. So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit. It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise. On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock. One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!" The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?" The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?" The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, animal
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: insulting, science, women
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: money
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel, weather
Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?" Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!" Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.” Sven smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too." Three weeks later, Sven asks his friend Ole, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?" Ole replies, "No, but it shouldn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life
Q: What fragrance makes you laugh? A: Essense of humor.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris has a Gmail ID.. it is gmail@chucknorris.com
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: school
A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer. "That will be one ruble," says the bartender. "One ruble!" the customer protests, "last week it was only fifty kopeks!" "Well," replies the bartender, "it's fifty kopeks for the beer and fifty kopecs for the perestroika." Reluctantly, the customer gives the bartender a ruble, and is surprised when the bartender gives him back fifty kopecs and says, "We are out of beer."
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man? A: A lazy b*tch.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women, work
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