Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.

Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.

A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.” “Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.” So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks. The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”

Chuck Norris' keyboad has no delete key. Chuck Norris never makes a mistake!

Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.

Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo? A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.

Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

A ventriloquist is sitting onstage at a comedy club. He and his dummy are spurting out really crude blonde jokes, when a blonde lady sitting in the audience stands up. "I'm so sick of you people who think blondes are stupid. It's because of you that I have had to try harder to prove myself at work and in the community. There are just as many dumb people with red or brown hair. There are just as many smart people with blonde hair." "Gosh, Miss, I'm terribly sorry. I was just telling jokes, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." "Shut up! I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to that little jerk on your lap!"

What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!