Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
A compass „Drinker": loose your limbs, find your North, let us dance!
A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer. "That will be one ruble," says the bartender. "One ruble!" the customer protests, "last week it was only fifty kopeks!" "Well," replies the bartender, "it's fifty kopeks for the beer and fifty kopecs for the perestroika." Reluctantly, the customer gives the bartender a ruble, and is surprised when the bartender gives him back fifty kopecs and says, "We are out of beer."
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
Q: What do you call a women who does as much work as a man? A: A lazy b*tch.
Q: How do you eat a frog? A: You put one leg behind each ear.
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!
Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.