Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
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Yo' mama so stupid, she told me to meet her on the corner of "walk" and "don't walk."