Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me.
I know we’ve been friends a long time, but I just can’t think of your name.
I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it.
Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave to her.
Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
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Q.How do you catch a polar bear?
A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.
Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding.
Chuck gave him a warning.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris has a Gmail ID.. it is gmail@chucknorris.com
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A blonde was walking down the street with shower caps on her breasts.
A guy asked her, "Hey, what's with the shower caps?"
"Shower caps?" she responded, "These are booby condoms!"
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
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Hot Shot Rookie A rookie patrol officer stopped a car for speeding.
The driver asked, "Gee officer can't you just give me a warning"?
The officer said,"Sure".
He stepped back, drew his .357 magnum and fired a shot across the hood of the car.
"Anything else?" said the rookie.