Best jokes ever

How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.
Vote:
has 51.47 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dog, game, morbid
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Vote:
has 51.46 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: math, school, student, stupid, teacher
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.
Vote:
has 51.44 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: animal, dinosaur, dirty, lesbian
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
Vote:
has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, life, marriage, time
No time for gym? Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
Vote:
has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym, time
Q: Did you hear about the redneck who was shooting craps? A: He blew a hole in the toilet.
Vote:
has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, redneck
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
Vote:
has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, health, sex
A husband and wife are driving along when they see an injured skunk lying by the roadside. They decide to take it to a vet but don’t have anything to carry it in. ‘Why not wrap it in your skirt?’ suggests the husband. ‘What about the stink?’ protests his wife. Her husband replies, ‘It’ll just have to get used to it.’
Vote:
has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: marriage
This couple had been going out together for quite a while and was thinking about getting married. They finally decided to spend a night in a motel to see if they were sexually compatible. The next morning he dropped her off at her apartment and he said, "So long Lucy." She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."
Vote:
has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
Vote:
has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
<<<871872873874
More jokes →
Page 871 of 1426.