Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: They are easier to keep amused.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because then the children have to play inside.
The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me.
I know we’ve been friends a long time, but I just can’t think of your name.
I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it.
Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend glared at her.
For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
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