There are only two kinds of computer. The latest model, and the obsolete.
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
My uncle is with the FBI. They caught him in Cleveland.
I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair!
Earth is not spinning around the sun. The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.