Why did the blond speed on the highway?
Because she thought the cars behind her where chasing her!!!!
Chuck Norris can watch music.
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Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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Yo mamma so stupid she thought Donald trump was a trumpit.
Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
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There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner.
They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good.
Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door.
The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families.
She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun.
They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls.
The father says "this soup stinks!"
The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful."
The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating."
After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on.
The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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Once Chuck Norris met a man on a horse that he did'nt like, now we know him as the headless horseman.
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Yo mama's so fat when she is having sex, her partner doesen't know if it's in her butt or her boobs.