Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon?
A: Because there is no shopping centre.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
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"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality."
"Who told you that?"
"Gynecologist."
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Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Yo mama ass so big your dad's dick gets lost in it.
Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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