Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
I wouldn’t say that inflation is making my life difficult, but I’m now starving on an income I used to dream about.
Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food? A:Because they can't catch it!
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge? Cool music.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died. After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly. "What's the story?" she asked. "Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied. "How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie’s house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park…and couldn’t find his way home. ” Oy Morris “, said grandma, ” You’ve been going to that park for over 30 years ! So how could you get lost ? ” Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear. Morris whispered, ” I wasn’t lost…..I was just too tired to walk home.”