How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two.
One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!"
There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice.
He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days.
"Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day."
So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day.
The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?"
She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."
Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
Q: What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
A: "Olive or twist?"
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Vote:
Do you know how Hitler tied his tennis shoes?
In little Natzie's.
Vote:
Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
Vote:
Why do black people only have nightmares?
We killed the only one with a dream.
Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It's too dark to count.
Vote:
Why did the blond speed on the highway?
Because she thought the cars behind her where chasing her!!!!