Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school?
I'll see you next period.
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When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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What does an annoying pepper do?
It get's jalapeño face
My mama would whip my butt so bad in the grocery store, they would announce it on the speakers.
Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite?
A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
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What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.
Chuck Norris won more Olympic medals than the hole world...
Including himself.
Vote:
Did you hear about the man with five keen senses?
He still lacked common and horse!