A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, "Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!"
Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? A: They think their picture is being taken.
Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a blonde.
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here! Cop: Okay, calm down. Where are you? Blonde: The cemetery! Cop: *facepalm*
A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. “How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager. “$200″ – he replied. “That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde. The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irratated when the blonde persisted. Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, “There’s a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don’t you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!” – he yelled. “Fine. I will.” – the blonde replied. After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her. When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones. Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed “Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”
Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde? A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps? A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.