Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.
Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.