The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch. He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon. If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Chuck can use "save" in real life. But he doesn't need it.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, technology
Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, god, money
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Vote:
has 55.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dad, sex, time
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Vote:
has 55.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
Vote:
has 55.00 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Someone asked Chuck Norris to climb Mount Everest. After his 10th endeavor, he wrote a book. "Ten Different Ways to Climb Mount Everest"
Vote:
has 55.00 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
<<<102103104105
More jokes →
Page 102 of 250.