Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a will. Invincible people don't need them.
When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.
There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.