Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard?
A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.