The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"