When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
You know "The Matrix" that was Chuck Norris' very first dream.
Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph. Why? Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap. When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
Charlie Sheen winning? Chuck Norris says "I think not."