There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
Nations fight other nations but wouldn't have balls enough to go toe-to-toe with Chuck Norris. Remember Atlantis?
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.