When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.