The best Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.

The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.

When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"

Chuck Norris dropped an apple once, and gravity was born.

Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.

Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.

Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.

When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!