If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator.
He walked away with a new set of luggage.
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Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon.
After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon.
It was a tough choice...
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch...
He saw it 3 times a day.
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Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.
The weights do.
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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