The best Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
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Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Chuck Norris dropped an apple once, and gravity was born.
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Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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