Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.
Big Brother isn't watching you. Chuck Norris is watching you!
My friend to me "I don't understand why Chuck Norris is the butt of so many jokes." Me to the friend "Well he does kick a lot of them."
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank. The iceberg was just a cover-up.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.