We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator. He walked away with a new set of luggage.
Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon. After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon. It was a tough choice...
Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch... He saw it 3 times a day.
Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.