Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear seatbelts. Seatbelts wear Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.