When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.