When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris. It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.