The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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has 48.02 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, technology
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
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has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, family
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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has 47.74 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fat, kids
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under pressure.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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