Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
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Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks.
They fold under pressure.
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