The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.
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Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time
2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
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Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
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