The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.
Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
The reason Waldo hides is because he saw Chuck Norris looking for him.
Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
Why did we have a global recession?
Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"