The best Chuck Norris jokes

The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
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Why did we have a global recession? Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
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Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Chuck Norris went around the world... by standing still.
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Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
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Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.
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Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem. He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion. The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
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Kimbo Slice copied Chuck Norris' beard. When confronted, Kimbo's beard simply fell off and spotaneously combusted.
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He opens the door then turns the handle.
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