The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers. The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote. He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
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Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, science
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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