The best Chuck Norris jokes

The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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Chuck Norris fell down the stairs and broke somebody elses leg.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
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Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
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Water can't breath under Chuck Norris.
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In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
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