Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
How far can you spit.
Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.
Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
Chuck Norris is the real man inside of Chucky.
Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.